Black Tears
by Lord Jareth
Summary: Depressing Vincent songfic. I finally got around to fixing it up so it's easier to read. Review? Please?


Black Tears

Okay, here we have yet another Vincent fic… we can't ever have too many of these, can we? Like my other Vincent fic (Chaos Syndrome… it's nice… read it? Please?) it's depressing, though different. I suppose it could be treated as a sort-of sequel, but you'd have to stretch a little. Or more than a little.

I've never written a songfic before, but I'm of the impression that this is at least decent, if not good, so please do your best to shatter my precious ego if it's bad. If it's good, I would like to know. The more reviews I get (positive ones, anyway) the more I'll write. But I'm sure you guys already know that.

~~~

Naturally, I don't own FF7, or Vincent. I also don't own the song, Edge of Sanity's "Black Tears" which I like very much, but will not claim to have written. I will be very angry if someone decides to sue me for using something of theirs. I will also be very angry if someone steals what work of this is mine.

~~~

When I'm in this state of mind  
  


I'm wishing I was blind. Sometimes life is  
  


more than pain, to me.  
  


I feel the power of my grief. Death would be  
  


such a relief. All the secrets that I hide  
  


would die, with me.  
  


Vincent sat on his coffin, head in his hands. It had been three months. Three months since the end of everything that had put a little purpose back into his life. Purpose, for the first time since…

_I'm a monster, damn it._

It had been too long. He'd survived too long.

_I don't want to be a monster. Why didn't I die on the journey?_

Tears welled up in his crimson eyes. They felt hot and too thick to be real tears. Maybe they were blood. He couldn't see them. It didn't matter.

Depression is my only friend. Will this  
  


torture never end? Let me carry on to  
  


the dreamer's sky.  
  


I keep crying in my dreams.  
  


Can you hear my endless screams?  
  


When I fade away I fade, away.  
  


The crypt was as dull and depressing as it had been since long before he left. Since he had gone there to dream of his nightmares. Things had moved in during his absence. Crude, strange, undead monsters. They were gone now. Death Penalty had seen to that. It was a powerful weapon, sure enough.

The tears became too many to remain in his eyes, and spilled out, down his cheeks. What good would it do to pretend to have a purpose? Try to be a whole man? There wasn't a soul alive that could truly comprehend his horror.

_Why look for something I can't find?_

**This fluid on me cheek, it drains me**

**I get weak. My heart is cold and bleak**

**Black blood. Black tears.  
  
**

There was nothing left to live for. Nothing. No reason. Why keep going?

_I don't have a reason. I went with them to look for a reason that I could never find. It never existed._

Did he know it all along, was he just fooling himself in the first place? Was he thinking he could find something to fill the void in his soul? Did he really think that he could do something to make himself whole again?

_I'm not human. I know that much. Should I succumb to the monster that lives within me?_

**Life is just a masquerade. In debt to myself,  
  
**

**but I can't pay. Soon I'll call it all a day, away.  
  
**

**I've never felt what you call guilt.  
  
**

**I still believe "Do what thou wilt"  
  
**

**My sorrow will destroy the world I've built.  
  
**

_Do that, _the voice of Chaos whispered in his mind. _Become one with me forever. It will make you as whole as you need to be. I will give you purpose. I, the Lord of Chaos, understand you._

Vincent sighed, and reached up to his face to brush away his tears. More came, as he knew they would, and he didn't bother to wipe them away. He knew there would just be more. As his hand dropped, he felt it strike something hard.

Death Penalty.

_I've found my answer, Lord of Chaos._ His lips curled into an emotionless smile. _It's not you. Surprised?_

His fingers caressed the handle of the gun, and he pulled it from its holster to gaze at it.

_You're a coward, _Chaos snarled. _That's all you eve were. I could have given you the world. We could have been great, you and I, if you had not been the coward that you are. Soft, pathetic, cowardly…_

Vincent wiped away more tears, and his eyes suddenly became dry. _I know. I really do know. You don't have to tell me again, Lord of Chaos. But I have my answer, and that's what matters to me._

He gazed down at the barrel of the gun, feeling sad and empty, but at the same time satisfied. _You won't make me suffer forever._

**This fluid on my cheek, it drains me**

**I get weak. My heart is cold and bleak**

**Black blood. Black tears.**

In all of Nibelheim, not one person heard the gun go off. But the voice of the Lord of Chaos had been silenced. And that was all that mattered to the lost Vincent Valentine. He had found his place.


End file.
